Hot Rodders are Revolting

On the HRG's Facebook page this evening, a seasoned drag racer who really should know better has suggested that the HRG should stage a revolution and take over the reins of the country from the inept crowd of dullards and fudge-nudgers currently polishing Whitehall chairs with their arses. We should call it a Coup d'eTwat.

And what has brought on this sudden burst of political unrest? Is it a backlash against the recent 'double-dip' recession? Is it that the coalition seems hellbent on grinding the average working Joe into the ground via taxes upon taxes, especially the most cynical of all, 'Bedroom Tax'? Is it an outpouring of feeling from a country suffering from a dilution of its national identity in the name of multiculturalism?

No. It's because the Office of Fair Trading have looked into the price structure of forecourt petrol and diesel sales and said, "Nope, nothing amiss there." They were basically investigating oil companies and price fixing. Yeah, we're always going to get a fair inquiry into one of the richest industries on the planet. Let's face it, if there's one by-product of the oil industry, it's grease. Good for greasing the wheels, greasing the skids, and maybe greasing a few palms at inquiry time. Not that I'd dream of casting aspersions on the integrity of the government and its agencies, much less to suggest that most of them are so bent they could walk through a spiral staircase without knocking their hats off.

But the problem doesn't lie with the oil companies when it comes to filling the tank at the forecourt. My own integrity says that I should do some thorough research, but the rest of my brain is telling me to sod that, so here are some rough (read: wildly inaccurate) figures. Of the £1.30-odd you pay for a litre of petrol, about 50p of it is the wholesale cost of the petrol. A few pence - literally a couple of pence - is profit for the retailer. They work on volume - those few pence certainly stack up when you're flogging thousands of litres a day - and shop sales. That's why so many petrol stations have groceries, coffee shops, Ginsters pasties, off-licences, lapdancing clubs etc built in, because they wouldn't survive just on petrol sales. Well, maybe not lapdancing clubs, but give it time... This is also why everything's so sodding expensive at the fuel station.

The rest? The remaining 80-odd pence? Duty and VAT. And the VAT is calculable on petrol + duty, so yes, you're paying tax on your tax. Is there anything else on retail sale in the UK that attracts more than 100% in tax? Possibly tobacco, I don't know. Either way, I don't think the Office of Fair Trading should be investigating the oil companies; they should be investigating the bloody government. For instance, the road tax on the Bedford runs out tomorrow. That's £121 for six months' road rent. Will that £121 be put with everyone else's road tax and get spent on projects to maintain and improve our roads and transport infrastructure? Will it arse-biscuits. Some of it will, although nowhere near as much gets spent on the roads as gets spent on the rail network which, last time I looked, was operated by private businesses... which are still making a monstrous loss! Road Fund Licence - there's a clue in the title! It's like going to Tesco and buying a loaf of bread for £1. When you get to the checkout, the lass behind the till opens the packet, and takes out half the slices. Some she makes herself a sandwich with, some she feeds to the birds in some godforsaken third-world country and the rest she throws down the toilet. You get half a loaf of bread which is rapidly going stale and a bewildering, disquieting feeling that you're being done over somewhere along the line.

This has been a party political broadcast on behalf of the HRG.

Eugene