A Nice Drive and a Weekend Picnic

Last weekend, we flipped a coin and decided to skip NSCC rounds five and six at York, and instead take in Yanks Weekend and the NASC Gary's Picnic at Shakey. There were a good handful of NSCCers doing likewise, including Andy Faster and the Twister team going great guns in Supercharged Outlaw and rattling off several 8.0 and 8.1 times. He even put his name in the hat for the Gary's Street Shootout and won a trophy and a wad of cash from Gary Healey, which will go towards yet another gearbox rebuild... Still, maybe that was payback for donning a policeman's helmet and setting up a speed trap in the pits using a timing strobe, or aiding flaming burnouts on a Fifties moped that had 'CHiPs' written down one side... and 'Egg' down the other.
Another merry band that were along was the Hughes clan with the newly en-dieseled Land Rover. All was going great, with Sandra Lee hammering it down into the 14s, until it blew a load of oil out of the breather and the marshalls got the hump. Full marks to Sandra Lee for operating that big diesel clutch despite having a dozen stitches in her thigh a day or two previously...

Vicky and Pete Smith were also along in their new toy, a 2007 Shelby Mustang GT500, but they weren't out on track, preferring to wait for a set of drag radials rather than scrub the frighteningly expensive Pirelli PZero road tyres that are on it...
Meanwhile, in another Mustang, Andrew Errington was out trying to get his 5.0 SN95 down into the 14s. After a whole load of bolt-on mods, this car has steadfastly refused to budge from the mid-15s. Fortunately, he'd brought the Bootlegger team for moral support. For instance, they told me that they'd taken the belt off to fit a smog-pump bypass, and when they came to refit it, nobody could work out which way around the pulleys it was supposed to go. There were four of them leaning into the engine bay for over half an hour, and nobody could figure it out. Eventually, they said, "Sod it, let's have a beer," stood up and realised that they'd been leaning on the diagram on the fan shroud that tells you which way around it goes.

This is the same brain trust that spent ages helping Andrew find his flip-flop. One evening, he found he only had one half of his pair of flip-flops: a flip, if you will, or possibly just a flop. After having spent ages turning the car and truck upside-down looking for the damn flop, they said, "Sod it, let's have a beer," opened the cool box and there, in the cooler with the beer, was the missing flop. I think we can all learn something from this, not least of which is that the goddess of beer will always provide the answer if you make an offering in her honour. And Andy did finally crack the 14s, and even got to the semis of the Bracket Gamblers.

The previous Thursday, I went to the SMMT Press Day at Millbrook Proving Grounds. This is where a bunch of manufacturers bring along their latest models and a load of journos turn up, pick some, take them out for 20 minutes or so then run off to the buffet. I'd been to test all the American cars that were there, so after a quick off-road trundle in a Jeep Cherokee I tried the new all-electric dual-motor Tesla. Man, I want to take that up the strip. The acceleration is truly frightening - 0-60 is something like 3.1 seconds - and because the torque curve isn't a curve (it's as flat as a fart from beginning to end) and all the torque is available from 1rpm, it's just relentless.

I also drove a Caterham. I tried one, but fell at the first hurdle when I couldn't slide my lardy arse into the wrap-around Kevlar bucket and I could press all three pedals at once with one steel-toed boot. After someone found some WD40 to help me out again, they showed me the wide-body model (not too sure what to make of that) which was great fun. It's just a motorbike that you can't fall off, but even for 15 minutes I found the gearing tiring. As you can see, 100mph was a screaming 6,000rpm.

I then drove a Maserati Quattroporte diesel - a 2.8 V6 unit made by VM, which is owned by Fiat ... as is Maserati. It was a very pleasant sports saloon, but I don't know why you'd cough up Maserati prices when Jaguar, Audi or BMW can do it just as well. Then I tried the Bentley Continental GT V8 S convertible, as it was such a sunny day. Now this, I could get used to. The first thing I did was set the driver's seat to 'massage' setting, then found Planet Rock on the monster DAB stereo set-up, then planted my boot into the shag pile and nearly befouled the beautiful leather. It rumbles around in silence, but when you hoof it it has exhaust cut-outs and bawls like a muscle car! I took it on the hill/handling course and chucked it around like a right featherweight. It was amazing, and when my six numbers come up this will definitely be in the top five.

Next was a Lexus RCF, a very Skyline-like two-door coupe with 475bhp and all the toys. This was also frighteningly fast, but with all the computer-aided crap on it I never really felt like I was driving it - it always felt like it was taking over. And I couldn't get Planet Rock on the DAB. Yes, an amazingly capable ultra-modern GT, but not for me.

I did, however, use the Lexus to put something to the test. Millbrook has a two-mile, four-lane bowl, progressively banked. Apparently, in lane four, the most banked part of the track, you can let go of the wheel at 100mph and the car will just follow the course. So I did. And it did! There are stories of a couple of journos with a new 5-series Beemer who got in lane four, set the cruise control, reclined the seats, got in the back and videoed the journey...

A few other manufacturers had brought along classics from their heritage collections. Vauxhall brought the very first Viva, looking a lot less anonymous than the new one, certainly.

Suzuki brought a restored Whizz-kid, and I had a go in that. It was a tight squeeze, but it's like driving a shoe. I soon found that it had bugger-all in the way of brakes, with the pedal disappearing to the floor and then locking up.

Newspress, a trade PR outlet, had a theme of 'Your First Car', and had brought a Nova, a Micra, a MkII Fiesta and this, a rather scabby 1100cc Allegro. It was as-found, complete with wheelarch and sill rust, mis-matched touch-up paints, butchered wiring and saggy brown velour seats.

I desperately wanted to drive it and find it to be a cute and endearing drive, friendly, like an old Mini. Sadly, it lived up to its reputation, was uncomfortable and noisy with a whining sump-ful of gears and heavy steering.

It was also rather unreliable, requiring many rescues and repairs through the day.

Jaguar had brought the last XJ12C coupe off the production line, and I managed to have a drive in that. Dave, a gent from Jaguar Heritage, had to accompany me to make sure I wasn't drifting it or doing rolling burnouts or anything clever like that. This was mitigated considerably by Dave telling me about the '70 Chevelle he'd just bought... and subsequently brought along to Gary's Picnic!

Favourite car of the day? This 1972 Toyota Crown coupe... a very American-styled pillarless coupe with a big, lazy 2.6-litre straight six and soft, boulevard handling. It was owned by a member of the owner's club, and he was a top bloke - he also owned an early Celica and a couple of other models - and the car was perfect. Pneumatic central locking, loads of switches, manual front windows but electric rear windows, even a period in-car phone. I loved it just as it was, but I can think of no better home for a nice LS6...

Eugene

NSCC Rounds 3 & 4

NSCC Rounds 3 & 4, May 3^rd-4^th, 2015

Mayday! Mayday! Anybody arriving at York on the Saturday evening for the rounds three and four double-header probably got a valuable insight into why people shout that in times of dire distress. High winds and rain, plus the fact that the jolly farmer has ploughed the field on 'our' side of the pits meant that there was a definite 'back to nature' feel to the whole show. More Glastonbury than Bakersfield.

The weekend didn't begin well for a couple of competitors who got rogered before they even arrived. Russ Pursley had gone down to Santa Pod to get some practice runs in on the Dutton, and managed to bust his rear end. Rick Swaine, meanwhile, got his rear end bust for him by an inattentive BMW Mini driver, effectively writing off the lovely orange Viva. Fortunately, nobody was seriously hurt, but it would just be the beginning of another war of attrition that would leave many by the wayside.

Sunday morning dawned with rain, mud, gales, shattered tents and groaning wounded. The NSCC pits looked like the Somme, though the groaning wounded had less to do with violent conflict on a global scale and more to do with the bar now stocking bottled guest ales and Jack Daniels. Most of the morning was spent watching the rain coming down, but by lunchtime the 'invaders from the planet Cloud' had buggered off elsewhere and the track was slowly drying.

Eventually, finally, 16 competitors headed out for one-shot qualifying. The track was far from perfect, but that didn't stop Andy Fadster belting out a psychotic 9.3 at 147mph, Next up was Ian Walley, freshly repaired after the fire of four weeks previous, struggling for traction but managing a 12.0 at 123mph. Four tenths behind was another fresh rebuild, Derek Beck's TVR, and two hundredths behind him was Keith Freeman's blown '32. Sitting on a solid 13.3 was Doug Hague in the Tango orange Skyline, then Paul Hughes in the blown MR2 on 14.1, again just two hundredths ahead of James Murray in the now-all-green-again Cortina. Tom Barker's Astra cranked out a 14.8, while Phil Winstanley in the Moggy Minor was suffering electrical gremlins and managed an off-form 15.3. Andy Errington's Mustang gave 15.4, Lee Openshaw's huffed Punto a 15.5, and Shaun Wilson's A roadster a 15.6. Andy Frear's Mad Max-alike Bronco smoked to a 15.9, championship leader Nigel Henderson's Anglia ran 16.3, and Jamie Hughes had bust the blown big-block Ford after last meeting and replaced it with a six-pot Cummins turbo-diesel, running-in with a 19.8. Bum luck award and the first casualty was Paul Everitt, whose Rover-powered Pop was pushed back off the line for dripping water – it was only puddle water – and after drying it off, had clutch issues and stalled on the line. Although he completed the run, he was outside the 34-second cut-off so the timing computer put him down as an aborted run and left him off the ladder. D'oh!

With the minimum of dicking around (which was definitely a culture-shock for some), we headed into round one. Fadster set the bar high with a 9.1 at 151mph, just to show that the track was up to it. Tom profited from Phil's misfortune, the Moggy no-showing to allow the Astra an uncontested win, while Keith breezed to an 11.9 against Andy's 15.9. Doug showed Shaun the way, 13.2 to 15.6, before Ian, getting well into his wild launches, ran a 10.8 against Jamie's improving 17.9. James was lazy on the line but still managed to drive around Andy, 13.9 to 15.9, while Derek ran 11.7 to cover Nigel's 16.4. The first round was concluded by Lee Openshaw pulling a stellar 0.509 light and 15.8 run, but not enough to beat Paul's 13.6 in the opposing lane.

The biggest drama in the second round happened in the fire-up lane, when Derek's TVR suffered a stuck-open nitrous solenoid followed by a mighty bang that blew the intake pipe and plenum apart and caused rapid weight-loss in anyone standing nearby. The throttle butterfly was later found, bent into an ellipse, so Derek was out, allowing Paul to run an uncontested 13.7. In the battle of the MkII Cortinas, James cut a good light and upped his game to a 12.8, but was no contest for Ian's 10.9 at 129mph. Keith and Doug had a race that looked closer than it probably was, the win light coming on in Keith's lane, 11.8 to 12.3. Tom's luck was about to run out in spectacular style, his 1.49 being no contest for a breathtaking 8.26 at 175mph from the Twister, on a track that had puddles on it just a couple of hours previously. Wow.

With the evening wearing on and the welcome prospect of a big dinner hoving into sight over the horizon, the semi-finalists were chivvied into the pairing lanes. Proceedings began with Fadster's luck running out in style – a hard launch damaged the transmission input shaft, which then sheared on the gearshift. This meant he was coasting for at least half the track, but it was a close thing – Keith only just managed to catch him at the line, winning 11.7 at 117mph to 11.9 at 75mph. On the other side of the ladder, Ian ran another stout 10.9 to finish Paul's day and set himself up against Keith in the final.

It was 6.10pm by the time the final was actually run, and many of us could almost smell the carvery waiting for us 10 miles away. The two yellow perils headed for the line, both Fords, both Ford-powered, but otherwise very different. Their times weren't that different, though – Keith's '32 got a four-tenths holeshot off the line and went pounding off up the track, but the turbo 'Tina's mid-track boost let Ian catch up and juuust squeak past at the line, 10.9 to 11.4. A close and hard-fought race, but well-done to Ian.

Right, bugger all that racing lark, it's dinner time! In dribs and drabs, most folk headed off towards the Barnes Wallis after successfully navigating the lakes on the entrance road. The Voyager developed another of its mystery faults on the way, giving every indication of having run out of fuel despite the fact that there was at least a quarter of a tank left. Still, many thanks to Paul Everitt and family who were heading out in the towcar, and who ran down to Howden to pick up a can of diesel for us. Strangely, it did the trick.

After a damn fine nosebag, we headed back to the track where we found that Andy and Craig had shot off to John Sleath's Magical Emporium of the Arcane and Esoteric and returned with another input shaft. There then followed some real thrashing in the mud to get the gearbox refitted which, to the credit of all involved, was achieved before some well-earned drinking was taken care of. Top marks for effort.

Monday morning was a world away from the previous day (apparently – I missed most of it) and with all being dry and having a decent following breeze, it looked like a stupendous day for racing. In any decent narrative, the Twister crew should have been rewarded for their overnight work with a 7.9 straight out of the box before going on to win the meeting. Well, this isn't Disney and what actually happened was that the new input shaft snapped like a cheese-string in the burnout, leaving Andy plenty of time to pack up early.

This left the way clear for Ian Walley to snatch pole position in qualifying. With plenty of time to spool up on the line, there were some clues of what was to come with monster launches and a 10.2 at 131mph. Steve Neimantas had rolled up, minus the amazing Bentley but with a drop-dead gorgeous black '68 Charger. Gasket, having reminded Steve about the good old days in NSCC, sold him a race number and he caned the big-inch Mopar to an 11.0 to take second spot. Keith rattled off another 11.4 for third. Shaun Cockcroft was back with the smart little MkII Escort Harrier, a 15.2 putting him mid-table.

Round one opened with the closest race of the day, Lee's Punto and Tom's Astra. With reaction times less than one hundredth of a second apart, Lee managed a 14.97 to Tom's 15.03 to squeak the win. Keith was ever-improving, his 11.3 at 115mph being plenty against Nigel's 16.0, while Paul's little MR2 ended Andy Errington's day early 14.1 to 15.3. Andy then went on to try his hand at Sportsman ET – we may have a star bracket racer among us soon. James's fresh engine still wasn't delivering the promised goods, but a 13.8 was enough to beat Gasket's 15.7, then Ian went out and ran 11.2 on his bye, just for the hell of it. This was the first appearance of the mighty and widely-photographed launch technique that saw the Cortina lift its nearside front wheel three feet off the deck and twisting the shell so that the front bumper was 45 degrees clockwise to the back bumper. Andy's Bronco was not so much rollin' coal as bustin' blades, his Cummins having developed an appetite for bits of its own turbo, so he sat out leaving Doug to cruise to a 14.9 solo win. Phil's Moggy, now cured, curtailed Shaun's brief reappearance 14.0 to 15.2, before the beautiful Charger shut down the diesel Land Rover 11.0 to 16.3. It turns out that Jamie had only been using third and fifth gear on the strip thus far, so you can just bet there'll be more to come from this before the year's out.

With a full complement of RWYBers, the gaps between rounds was pretty lengthy, so it was a while before the second round (which was also the quarter-finals thanks to a 15-car ladder) kicked off. It started with an upset as Steve's Charger picked up a puncture while waiting in the fire-up lane that wasn't noticed until he reached the startline, so he backed up and let Phil's Moggy take the solo win. Paul's MR2 had it all to do against Keith's '32, but he blew it on the startline, red-lighting while Keith streaked away to another 11.3. Ian's Cortina had to be re-scrutineered after the wild round one launch, but he managed to almost repeat the trick as he ran 11.6 to Lee's 14.9, then Doug and James ran a close race, Doug getting to the line one tenth ahead on almost identical times to set up the semis.

The semis were a straightforward affair, which started with Ian and Doug. Ian was trying to tone down his wild launches, while Doug was trying to take it easy on the Skyline, but neither was giving an inch. It was Ian who came out on top, with a 12.3 against a slowing 13.5 from Doug. Keith wasn't taking it easy, however, his 11.4 being more than enough against Phil's Moggy which appeared to be playing host to the gremlins again at 16.1.

All this set up the finals and sod me bandy if it wasn't those two yellow Fords again. It was a good, clean race, Keith being slightly dozy on the line, and his 11.5 not being enough to catch and pass Ian's 11.3. It's also worth noting the turbo car's top-end charge – Keith crossed the line at 113mph, Ian at 129mph. So a full complement of points from the weekend for Ian, though he now has to go back to Darlington and address his rear suspension issues. Twice the bridesmaid for Keith, but still plenty more to come. A damn shame for the Twister team, that seven at York being so close and yet still so far. And well done to Doug, his lairy orange Skyline stretching out a hell of a lead at the top of the table even at this early stage. The perfect combination of muscle and streetability for NSCC … are we just going to let the Jap have it? Will Derek's luck ever improve or did he murder a Pope in a previous life? Is the Twister team sponsored by Jack Daniels, or is it actually the other way around? What's it all about? Is there any end in sight? All these questions and more answered at the next round of NSCC, Spring bank holiday weekend.