NSCC Rounds 3 & 4

NSCC Rounds 3 & 4, May 3^rd-4^th, 2015

Mayday! Mayday! Anybody arriving at York on the Saturday evening for the rounds three and four double-header probably got a valuable insight into why people shout that in times of dire distress. High winds and rain, plus the fact that the jolly farmer has ploughed the field on 'our' side of the pits meant that there was a definite 'back to nature' feel to the whole show. More Glastonbury than Bakersfield.

The weekend didn't begin well for a couple of competitors who got rogered before they even arrived. Russ Pursley had gone down to Santa Pod to get some practice runs in on the Dutton, and managed to bust his rear end. Rick Swaine, meanwhile, got his rear end bust for him by an inattentive BMW Mini driver, effectively writing off the lovely orange Viva. Fortunately, nobody was seriously hurt, but it would just be the beginning of another war of attrition that would leave many by the wayside.

Sunday morning dawned with rain, mud, gales, shattered tents and groaning wounded. The NSCC pits looked like the Somme, though the groaning wounded had less to do with violent conflict on a global scale and more to do with the bar now stocking bottled guest ales and Jack Daniels. Most of the morning was spent watching the rain coming down, but by lunchtime the 'invaders from the planet Cloud' had buggered off elsewhere and the track was slowly drying.

Eventually, finally, 16 competitors headed out for one-shot qualifying. The track was far from perfect, but that didn't stop Andy Fadster belting out a psychotic 9.3 at 147mph, Next up was Ian Walley, freshly repaired after the fire of four weeks previous, struggling for traction but managing a 12.0 at 123mph. Four tenths behind was another fresh rebuild, Derek Beck's TVR, and two hundredths behind him was Keith Freeman's blown '32. Sitting on a solid 13.3 was Doug Hague in the Tango orange Skyline, then Paul Hughes in the blown MR2 on 14.1, again just two hundredths ahead of James Murray in the now-all-green-again Cortina. Tom Barker's Astra cranked out a 14.8, while Phil Winstanley in the Moggy Minor was suffering electrical gremlins and managed an off-form 15.3. Andy Errington's Mustang gave 15.4, Lee Openshaw's huffed Punto a 15.5, and Shaun Wilson's A roadster a 15.6. Andy Frear's Mad Max-alike Bronco smoked to a 15.9, championship leader Nigel Henderson's Anglia ran 16.3, and Jamie Hughes had bust the blown big-block Ford after last meeting and replaced it with a six-pot Cummins turbo-diesel, running-in with a 19.8. Bum luck award and the first casualty was Paul Everitt, whose Rover-powered Pop was pushed back off the line for dripping water – it was only puddle water – and after drying it off, had clutch issues and stalled on the line. Although he completed the run, he was outside the 34-second cut-off so the timing computer put him down as an aborted run and left him off the ladder. D'oh!

With the minimum of dicking around (which was definitely a culture-shock for some), we headed into round one. Fadster set the bar high with a 9.1 at 151mph, just to show that the track was up to it. Tom profited from Phil's misfortune, the Moggy no-showing to allow the Astra an uncontested win, while Keith breezed to an 11.9 against Andy's 15.9. Doug showed Shaun the way, 13.2 to 15.6, before Ian, getting well into his wild launches, ran a 10.8 against Jamie's improving 17.9. James was lazy on the line but still managed to drive around Andy, 13.9 to 15.9, while Derek ran 11.7 to cover Nigel's 16.4. The first round was concluded by Lee Openshaw pulling a stellar 0.509 light and 15.8 run, but not enough to beat Paul's 13.6 in the opposing lane.

The biggest drama in the second round happened in the fire-up lane, when Derek's TVR suffered a stuck-open nitrous solenoid followed by a mighty bang that blew the intake pipe and plenum apart and caused rapid weight-loss in anyone standing nearby. The throttle butterfly was later found, bent into an ellipse, so Derek was out, allowing Paul to run an uncontested 13.7. In the battle of the MkII Cortinas, James cut a good light and upped his game to a 12.8, but was no contest for Ian's 10.9 at 129mph. Keith and Doug had a race that looked closer than it probably was, the win light coming on in Keith's lane, 11.8 to 12.3. Tom's luck was about to run out in spectacular style, his 1.49 being no contest for a breathtaking 8.26 at 175mph from the Twister, on a track that had puddles on it just a couple of hours previously. Wow.

With the evening wearing on and the welcome prospect of a big dinner hoving into sight over the horizon, the semi-finalists were chivvied into the pairing lanes. Proceedings began with Fadster's luck running out in style – a hard launch damaged the transmission input shaft, which then sheared on the gearshift. This meant he was coasting for at least half the track, but it was a close thing – Keith only just managed to catch him at the line, winning 11.7 at 117mph to 11.9 at 75mph. On the other side of the ladder, Ian ran another stout 10.9 to finish Paul's day and set himself up against Keith in the final.

It was 6.10pm by the time the final was actually run, and many of us could almost smell the carvery waiting for us 10 miles away. The two yellow perils headed for the line, both Fords, both Ford-powered, but otherwise very different. Their times weren't that different, though – Keith's '32 got a four-tenths holeshot off the line and went pounding off up the track, but the turbo 'Tina's mid-track boost let Ian catch up and juuust squeak past at the line, 10.9 to 11.4. A close and hard-fought race, but well-done to Ian.

Right, bugger all that racing lark, it's dinner time! In dribs and drabs, most folk headed off towards the Barnes Wallis after successfully navigating the lakes on the entrance road. The Voyager developed another of its mystery faults on the way, giving every indication of having run out of fuel despite the fact that there was at least a quarter of a tank left. Still, many thanks to Paul Everitt and family who were heading out in the towcar, and who ran down to Howden to pick up a can of diesel for us. Strangely, it did the trick.

After a damn fine nosebag, we headed back to the track where we found that Andy and Craig had shot off to John Sleath's Magical Emporium of the Arcane and Esoteric and returned with another input shaft. There then followed some real thrashing in the mud to get the gearbox refitted which, to the credit of all involved, was achieved before some well-earned drinking was taken care of. Top marks for effort.

Monday morning was a world away from the previous day (apparently – I missed most of it) and with all being dry and having a decent following breeze, it looked like a stupendous day for racing. In any decent narrative, the Twister crew should have been rewarded for their overnight work with a 7.9 straight out of the box before going on to win the meeting. Well, this isn't Disney and what actually happened was that the new input shaft snapped like a cheese-string in the burnout, leaving Andy plenty of time to pack up early.

This left the way clear for Ian Walley to snatch pole position in qualifying. With plenty of time to spool up on the line, there were some clues of what was to come with monster launches and a 10.2 at 131mph. Steve Neimantas had rolled up, minus the amazing Bentley but with a drop-dead gorgeous black '68 Charger. Gasket, having reminded Steve about the good old days in NSCC, sold him a race number and he caned the big-inch Mopar to an 11.0 to take second spot. Keith rattled off another 11.4 for third. Shaun Cockcroft was back with the smart little MkII Escort Harrier, a 15.2 putting him mid-table.

Round one opened with the closest race of the day, Lee's Punto and Tom's Astra. With reaction times less than one hundredth of a second apart, Lee managed a 14.97 to Tom's 15.03 to squeak the win. Keith was ever-improving, his 11.3 at 115mph being plenty against Nigel's 16.0, while Paul's little MR2 ended Andy Errington's day early 14.1 to 15.3. Andy then went on to try his hand at Sportsman ET – we may have a star bracket racer among us soon. James's fresh engine still wasn't delivering the promised goods, but a 13.8 was enough to beat Gasket's 15.7, then Ian went out and ran 11.2 on his bye, just for the hell of it. This was the first appearance of the mighty and widely-photographed launch technique that saw the Cortina lift its nearside front wheel three feet off the deck and twisting the shell so that the front bumper was 45 degrees clockwise to the back bumper. Andy's Bronco was not so much rollin' coal as bustin' blades, his Cummins having developed an appetite for bits of its own turbo, so he sat out leaving Doug to cruise to a 14.9 solo win. Phil's Moggy, now cured, curtailed Shaun's brief reappearance 14.0 to 15.2, before the beautiful Charger shut down the diesel Land Rover 11.0 to 16.3. It turns out that Jamie had only been using third and fifth gear on the strip thus far, so you can just bet there'll be more to come from this before the year's out.

With a full complement of RWYBers, the gaps between rounds was pretty lengthy, so it was a while before the second round (which was also the quarter-finals thanks to a 15-car ladder) kicked off. It started with an upset as Steve's Charger picked up a puncture while waiting in the fire-up lane that wasn't noticed until he reached the startline, so he backed up and let Phil's Moggy take the solo win. Paul's MR2 had it all to do against Keith's '32, but he blew it on the startline, red-lighting while Keith streaked away to another 11.3. Ian's Cortina had to be re-scrutineered after the wild round one launch, but he managed to almost repeat the trick as he ran 11.6 to Lee's 14.9, then Doug and James ran a close race, Doug getting to the line one tenth ahead on almost identical times to set up the semis.

The semis were a straightforward affair, which started with Ian and Doug. Ian was trying to tone down his wild launches, while Doug was trying to take it easy on the Skyline, but neither was giving an inch. It was Ian who came out on top, with a 12.3 against a slowing 13.5 from Doug. Keith wasn't taking it easy, however, his 11.4 being more than enough against Phil's Moggy which appeared to be playing host to the gremlins again at 16.1.

All this set up the finals and sod me bandy if it wasn't those two yellow Fords again. It was a good, clean race, Keith being slightly dozy on the line, and his 11.5 not being enough to catch and pass Ian's 11.3. It's also worth noting the turbo car's top-end charge – Keith crossed the line at 113mph, Ian at 129mph. So a full complement of points from the weekend for Ian, though he now has to go back to Darlington and address his rear suspension issues. Twice the bridesmaid for Keith, but still plenty more to come. A damn shame for the Twister team, that seven at York being so close and yet still so far. And well done to Doug, his lairy orange Skyline stretching out a hell of a lead at the top of the table even at this early stage. The perfect combination of muscle and streetability for NSCC … are we just going to let the Jap have it? Will Derek's luck ever improve or did he murder a Pope in a previous life? Is the Twister team sponsored by Jack Daniels, or is it actually the other way around? What's it all about? Is there any end in sight? All these questions and more answered at the next round of NSCC, Spring bank holiday weekend.  

Well, Goodness Gracious Me!

You know those times when you feel a fart brewing up, and you think it's going to be a real crowd-pleaser? So, you shout, “Shut up, everyone, I've got a real prizewinner bubbling under, here!” and everyone shuts up and looks on in anticipation while you, at the centre of everyone’s attention, adopt the Bruce Forsyth elbow-on-knee-and-knuckles-on-forehead stance, and wait, and wait, and you're starting to go a bit red because of the strain. Then, eventually, it arrives at the bomb-bay and goes “pp”. And you go absolutely crimson out of sheer shame, and the fact that there's a worrying, slightly damp sensation spreading down under?

Then you'll know the opposite. Those times when it's quiet and still – for instance, in a waiting room, or on an aeroplane, or in the dock just before the judge releases the jury to consider their verdict against you – and you think you have a tiny fart that you can safely get shut of in silence. So, you surreptitiously lift one cheek a millimetre and... and it sounds like a ten-second blast on a foghorn half-full of porridge, rips your jeans, leaves scorch marks on the upholstery, causes the linoleum to curl up at the corners and creates a cloud of stench so thick you could knock a nail into it. As the cloud drifts across the room/court/plane, causing people to run, gag, retch and generally wish they'd lived a better life, you try to adopt that disgusted, “Jesus, who did THAT?” face while looking at the people around you, despite the fact that your chair is smouldering and there's a skidmark laminated to the wall behind you to a height of five feet which, if you look at it the right way, could depict the face of Satan.

Where's all this going? Well, the orange four-pot Mustang has sold, and it's gone off to its new home down in Essex with a gent who knows a thing or two about Fox Mustangs. For me, that car definitely fell into the first category – it was a GT, painted metalflake orange, with GT wheels, GT suspension and brakes, the GT body kit and '5.0' badges on the wings, but with a really limp 2.3-litre four-pot. It promised much, but delivered very little indeed. It shouted bang, but delivered whimper. It was a sheep in wolf's clothing, which I wouldn't have minded so much if it had provided 'sheep-level' fuel economy; it was definitely a wolf when it came to unleaded.

So now I have this little Nissan. It's a really basic 1987 Sunny LX 1.3-litre four-door saloon. And it falls into the second camp. Why? Because I expected absolutely nothing from it, so everything it does is a delightful surprise. It starts on the first touch of the key, and though it's far from fast it feels quite nippy and, somehow, faster than the Mustang. Though that's not difficult.

The previous owner was an elderly gentleman from Buxton, recently deceased, and it definitely has an “old geezer's car” vibe about it. For a start, there's the tartan rug on the back seat. Then there's the charmingly politically-incorrect little caricature dolls on the parcel shelf of our colonial cousins. I've left them there for the time being.

Then there are the floor mats. What is it with old people and soft furnishings in their cars? There were no fewer than four bits of additional carpet in the passenger footwell, on top of the OE rubber floor mat, along with a tin of pound-shop “Back To Black” under the seat.

Emptying the glove box was a lesson in itself. If seems that the executor of the previous owner's estate couldn't be arsed to empty the car before punting it on, so the glove box contained everything you see on the seat in the photo. There were a dozen or so cassettes, mostly Elvis and Roy Orbison, though centre stage went to “Al Jolson's Greatest Hits”. There was a pair of sunglasses with one lens missing, a scalpel(?) and a load of boiled sweets that had melted and stuck everything together. No, they weren't Werther's Originals, but they were still the sort of sweets that seem to only be bought by pensioners.

Another lesson was the cassette player. Somebody had gently removed the original radio-cassette – possibly with a pick-axe, judging from the state of the dash – and replaced it with a really fancy Sony tape deck. That same person, presumably, wired it in with the same degree of panache – chocolate-block connectors everywhere, everything connected to a switched live, the bare constant-live wire was just floating about, there was no earth so it was presumably only earthed through the aerial, one of the speaker negative wires was connected to another switched live and only one of the two speakers worked. I stuck a CD player in, though the door speakers are beyond shite.

Of course, despite its 64,000 miles, it's far from perfect. There's a clunk coming from the driver's side front suspension which I couldn't trace but suspect a drop link, the driver's window doesn't wind up or down quite straight so it's a two-handed job, and the door locks are so worn you could open them with a teaspoon. But, overall, I'm delighted to say that my new old car is a massive, wet fart.

Eugene

Gone... Going

Since the last instalment, I've done a hell of a lot of sweet FA about the cars.

The Pontiac has been a dead loss. After trying and failing to sell it as a roller, I tried to break it for spares. Sadly, the owner of the other late-model Bonneville in the UK (if there even is one) wasn't in the market for spares, or hasn't been watching eBay for the past couple of months. Sum total of parts sold? One. The supercharger. The only bit I wouldn't have minded holding on to.

So today, Oldcott Motors came and hauled away the rolling shell, for which they paid a desultory sum. It will now doubtless be added to their yard from which they sell American car spares for frightening prices.

The orange Mustang is still getting on my tits and shall be up for sale very soon. I tried to address a couple of its issues the other day, starting with the choke. The carb is a Weber 32/36 DGAV from a Euro Pinto, and I started by trying to decode the tag.

The wisdom of the internet has so far told me nothing. The bit that says 1AC is confusing - 1AB and 1AD are quite common on late Pintos, on 2.0 manual Cortinas, Capris, Taunuses and Sierras, but the 1AC doesn't seem to exist. Hey ho.

One of the things I was least delighted to see was the missing screw in one of the choke flaps. Damn, I'm sure it was there last time I looked. I wonder where it could possibly be now?

Having bought a bag of manual choke conversion parts from eBay and found not one single one of them to be the slightest use, I set about fabricating (ie lashing something up). I ended up with this ...

... which was a bodge and a half but was a lot better than the useless electric choke that was on there before. It really needs a return spring on it - the action is very stiff - but it gets the job done. While I was at it, I looked at addressing the driver's door, which had dropped quite a bit. I was pretty sure that you can't adjust the hinge without taking the wing off, but while I was looking to check, I noticed that the pin on the lower hinge had popped up half an inch or so. I took the weight of the door on a trolley jack, tapped the pin back in and the job was done - the door was back to shutting perfectly.

What this means is that, with less than a fortnight to Easter weekend and NSCC Round 1, I don't have a car to take part in. Oh well, if it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

Eugene

Annual and General

February 21st saw the annual post-hibernation gathering of the SCC faithful for the AGM. This year saw a new venue, a new layout and a new level of organisation hitherto unknown in the anals of NSCC history (that would normally be annals, but I decided anals would be more appropriate). The venue was the Red Lion in Bispham, which happened to have a Premier Inn next door. Those were the tight buggers who, as the rooms filled up, doubled the prices on the remaining rooms. Hm, we'll have to remember that trick...
Anyway, part of the new programme meant that we had the nuts'n'bolts AGM and rule book discussion after lunch, in the hope that people would be slightly less pissed, which leads to long, circuitous and argumentative discussions about the same tired old crap. Even though some participants started drinking suitably early (lunchtime the preceding day), it did seem to work quite well. There was a bit of discussion about the rule that allows FWD cars for that competitor's first year - this was amended for 2015 to say that if the competitor qualifies the car in its first year, he can sign it up again for the second and so on. We're getting some interesting machinery in the FWD class, with some very enthusiastic owners, and no sign of the boom-tish-boom-tish race-around-the-retail-park crew that some people were worried it would attract.
Another rule that was amended was the one that allowed people to turn up to York in their NSCC car and claim show points even if they didn't sign up to race. On one memorable weekend in 2014, this meant that some of the pit-sitters actually scored more points than those who went out in the 1st round of eliminations! This year, you get show points for the WEEKEND, not per day, so if you drive your NSCC car to York but for whatever reason don't race, you get 1200 points plus 300 for the cruise. If you trailer it there but don't race, you'll get 300 points plus 300 for the cruise, or bugger-all if you don't go on the cruise. This rule will also apply should the event be rained off with no qualifying having taken place.
Two rules that weren't changed, despite reasonable protestations, were the ones that state that the car must have an MoT even if it's pre-1960, and it must be taxed. That means no trade plates, and even in the absence of tax discs, it's the work of 20 seconds online to find out if the car's MoTed and taxed...
The cruises remain the same, although only the first of the two monthly American Auto Mags Hollow Tree cruises counts for points, and Simon has changed the day of the Queen Adelaide cruise to the third Sunday of the month. As the last Knaresborough cruise happens AFTER the finals, it was decided that cruisers could score points at Knaresborough in March, but not September.
There's a fair old raft of shows on the calendar, too, starting with the Whitby Kustom one-dayer in April, adding Cumbria's Total Retro event in May, American Speedfest at Brands Hatch in June, the Phantoms Hot Rod Hootenanny in Scotland mid-July, and the Blackpool Classic & Custom Car Show in mid-August. The only thing that's dropped off the calendar is the NSRA Billing Fun Run.
There are 11 rounds of NSCC competition, or possibly 10, we're not sure yet. This problem arises from the UK Power Tour on the first weekend in July, and how York are working around them. Doubtless details will be forthcoming as soon as somebody works out what the sweet, sweet piggy-titties is going on.
And then the AGM was wound up! Hurrah, just time to tip the wee of excitement off your chair before dinner was served. Yes, somebody decided that a room full of NSCC competitors could be trusted with hot food and sharp cutlery. The meal didn't start well - I can only assume that downstairs in the pub people were putting their drinks on nachos, because I'm sure I got served a plateful of cheesy beermats. The steak was pretty damn good, although halfway through, as I was reaching for that very heavy earthenware bowl of chips in the middle of the table, I put my back out again. Could I sue them for that? Anyway, that meant I spent the rest of the evening waddling around as though I'd had a pick-axe handle jammed up my nipsy.
During dinner there was a bit of a quiz, followed by the Tat Auction. The idea was that people could bring various bits and bats of useful and useless stuff, and we'd auction it off for NSCC funds. There was, it has to be said, precious little tat and a lot of bloody good stuff. All in all, we raised well in excess of £200 for the NSCC kitty. And Damien, if you still have that VHS, I'll happily buy it myself! I wish I had bought it then, but my mind wasn't on the job, obviously. To illustrate, we had another brilliant offer of a lot to auction from CRD Performace, which I completely failed to include. However, if the offer still stands, I'd like to utilise that in some useful way during the course of the year.

Then it was time for the prizegiving, and having been appointed photographer I managed to plumb new depths even by my own low standards by managing to take five in-focus photographs. That's one of them above, of Simon Boot collecting his own trophy plus a few for people who couldn't make it!

That's Biff, picking up his award in his new Black Pig, plus a Green Party 'Endeavour' for preventing food wastage.

That's Andy Errington above, collecting not only his trophy for 7th overall but also a well-deserved trophy for best newcomer. Good man, who has already signed up for 2015 in his newly-acquired Mustang.

That's Rick Swaine looking as pleased as punch, not only for a well-deserved third place in the orange Viva, but also for the John Payne Spirit of the NSCC award. Not only was he most improved (from 2013 to 2014) following his Pinto transplant, he was also one of the crew representing the NSCC at off-calendar shows and events, and when he couldn't race his own car at the track he'd turn up anyway and crew for someone else. Top bloke.

That's a rear view of Nigel Henderson (take my word for it) picking up his trophy for second overall in the groovy little 105E Anglia, again proving that in order to succeed in NSCC competition, you need a car that's properly streetable. His little four-pot went everywhere last year, and he was only a whisker behind the 2014 Champion, James Murray, who added another trophy to the list of things he won't dust or polish.
Overall, I think the AGM was a success. I liked the format of having the meeting in the afternoon and an informal dinner in the middle, though some folk didn't think much to the fact that the venue was so far out of town and away from the nightlife - one chap did tell me that he had a kebab on Friday night, but as it required a taxi ride to collect it, it cost him £20. There are one or two other ideas on the table for next year's AGM already, so if you have any (constructive) ideas or feedback, make yourself heard.
Incidentally, this year's prizes were sponsored by James, c/o Megasquirt UK, the DIY EFI and ECU people, so you know where to go for engine management...

...and we've also had support offered from Pete at Chassis Tec, the chassis and cage specialists. Going under the 11.99 second barrier this year? You need to speak to Pete.

So remember, support those who support the sport! Easter and round one are less than four weeks away. Watch out for the IOPD and PDRC forms being posted on the Facebook page so you can get those filled in, sent off and done and dusted in advance. The updated rule book and calendar will be posted up on www.nscc.info just as soon as we get the early July York/Power Tour weekend details sorted. It's not far away ... are you ready?

Eugene

Retrospectacle

OK, I admit, I haven't got around to writing up the AGM report yet. The notes I took are still on scraps of paper (cunningly hidden amongst scraps of scrap paper - what could go wrong?) filed in a plastic bag in the living room. That'll be next, I promise.

In the meantime, I'll blart on about the Race Retro show, which I went to the day before the AGM. It's all about classic and historic racing, with lots of clubs and classes represented. Yes, there's a lot of cubic money in them thar cars, but as these guys are mostly still giving them a damn good thrashing in historic classes, I'll let them off. American and street/strip stuff is rather poorly represented, but there were plenty of machines there that I remember from my formative years... like that SD1, above. I remember them being used for rallying, briefly, and for touring car racing, including a few Saturday afternoon pro-celebrity type races on World of Sport with Dickie Davis, a moustache-based presenter who Will Ferrell must have clocked before he came up with Ron Burgundy.

And this, one of the Group B Lancias that I still get a trouser-tent about all these years later, along with the Stratos. I think this may have been a replica, but I don't think I care.

Now that's the car I blame for loving V8s. The TR7 V8. I remember these tonking about with Tony Pond or Simo Lampinen at the wheel, they sounded marvellous. I still have a perverse desire for a TR7 even now.

Blimey, a Bjorn Waldegard Toyota Corolla! I remember these from the Rally Cars Top Trumps!

The Ford RS200, a proper weapon that came along just in time for Group B to be disbanded. I imagine this is worth a few quid, so I didn't bid him on it.

Another car I remember Tony Pond driving, the old 6R4! See, not everything that came out of British Leyland was an unmitigated disaster...

This picture doesn't quite convey the fact that the 6R4 was about twice as bulky as the Mini next to it. It was like someone got a Mini 1275GT, bunged a bicycle pump up its nipsy and pumped until they got a 6R4. Brilliant.

Now this was a wonderful bit of kit. It's a BMC race car transporter, just big enough to take a small-ish saloon car and with the most basic of living spaces up front. You'd really cut a dash in the pits with this! It was in the Silverstone Auctions' Conspicuous Display of Silly Money, where it failed to reach its £60,000 estimate...

Race Retro is a pretty good day out, though I must add that I've been going for a few years now and this year, I'd seen it all and was ready to go home in under four hours. Still, there's generally cock-all else to do in February, so it's any port in a storm...

Right, the AGM, yes, I'll get right on that...

Eugene

Like A Spare Part

Since the last posting, it's all gone a bit daft. For a start, the Pontiac Bonneville has totally failed to sell. Or even attract any serious enquiries. I've not even had any enquiries about spares, although there aren't exactly a load of other Bonnevilles out there for for me to sell parts for. The only bit that's sold is the blower, the bit that I'd have quite liked to keep; still, the money will doubtless come in handy.

I'm also looking to put the 2.3 Mustang ragtop up for sale. I'm really not feeling it, and would rather get shut in favour of something that seats five and might be good to tow with.

Then, in January, I spotted the online auction for all the stock from the closed-down Bauer Millett showrooms. Long story short, James is now the proud owner of one metric shitload of new old stock AC Delco GM stuff, not to mention another metric shitload of genuine Mopar/Fiat/Alfa gear. It's always difficult to work out on an online auction exactly how much you've bought, so when I went to hire a van I thought I'd pick the high-roof LWB Transit just to be on the safe side. Bugger me bandy, we'd have looked a right pair of bell-ends if we'd brought anything smaller... we filled it, front to back, side to side, and to within a foot of the top. The lengthy cataloguing process has begun, so if you're in the market for some genuine OE spares at bargain prices, check out the dedicated website at http://www.jamesmurrayengineering.co.uk/parts/ or look for acdelcomoparoem on eBay.

As if we didn't have enough shite between us, I then went and bought a couple more bits of NOS, one of which was an offside door for a 1993-2002 Camaro. So I went to pick it up from west London, gleefully certain of the fact that it would fit into a Fox Mustang convertible. Unusually, for early February, it was a glorious day - almost T-shirt weather. That's just as well, because there's as much chance of fitting a Camaro door in a Fox Mustang as there is of there then driving it up a badger's bottom. Fortunately, it was pleasant enough to put the roof down and drive with the Camaro door sat up in the back seat like the shitest President Kennedy decoy ever. Yeah, it was nice to have the roof down but this was at 4pm in west London, and I could say with some degree of certainty that the moment the big, strange warm thing in the sky dipped below the horizon, it would turn rather Pearl Harbour - there'd definitely be a nasty nip in the air. As I joined the M25 just before 5pm, this prediction came true. I spent the next two and a half hours trundling through traffic up the M40 freezing my conkers off, wondering who the hell I would be selling that door to - they're made of plastic, they don't rust!

This time next week, we'll be thinking about heading to Blackpool for the NSCC AGM. In fact, I expect many will already be there and by this time of night they'll be multiple sheets to the wind. Just to clarify, the AGM - the nuts-and-bolts rule book and calendar discussion - will be held in the afternoon. We'll say it's going to start at 1pm, which means it has a chance of getting under way by about 2. Then we'll wrap it up no later than 4pm so everyone can go back to their room and do whatever before meeting back in the room for dinner at 6pm. If you haven't already booked for this, you might still be able to get in or you might have to eat downstairs with the plebs. After dinner, there should be an NSCC quiz, followed by the Tat Auction for a bit of a laugh and to stick some money in the NSCC kitty, so don't forget to bring some tat. Then there'll be the prizegiving for the winners and qualifiers, then the annual NSCC quest to see how much beer is left in the barrels and alter that figure to zero.

It should be a laugh riot, so please come along, buy tat, drink beer, and let's see if anybody can remember exactly why this pub kicked us out and asked us not to come back all those years ago. The Red Lion, Bispham FY2 0AR is the place. February 21st is the date. I can't wait.

Eugene

Happy New Year and all that shite

It's 2015! Woohoo! Hm. Feels much the same as any other year, except that the price of petrol has tumbled dramatically. Jeeezus, how many of you carved the Christmas turkey, pulled the wishbone and wished for cheaper petrol, because it worked!
So, it's January, and that is universally crap. The only dot of light on the horizon is Autosport at the NEC and there was way less there to hold my attention than there has been previously.

There were a few classics to get all sweaty over, but by and large it seemed to be fewer stands spread out to cover the same area. The 'engineering' section appeared to be pretty empty, too, with far fewer American visitors than there have been in previous years.

I can't say I'm surprised, mind you. Speaking to a couple of the stallholders, I was stunned to learn of the price they get charged for the simplest of stands. You want a stand big enough to fit one car and a few bits of display material? That'll be £14,000 please. You want a mains supply? That'll be extra. Or, if you just want a 3x2 metre booth in the 'engineering' section - for two days, not four - that'll be £3500. And at nearly £30 for a ticket plus £10 to park your car, I reckon that it's only the fact that there's bugger all else happening in January that keeps the crowds coming.

I liked this Gaskit stand, with the posters saying "Now you can fix head gasket failures YOURSELF!" My god, it's come to that. It kinda reminded me of Mr Ed Gaskit ... "F**k off and fix it YOURSELF!" He needn't have bothered hiring the pretty Asian girl to hand out leaflets, though - his end of the hall was bloody empty.

I say there's bugger-all happening in January, but in fact there were two new shows - the London Classic Car Show, which, for all I've seen of it, seems to be an exercise in saying "Look how much money we've got", and a new indoor custom car show in Manchester's G-Mex. And, naturally, they all happened on the same weekend. Brilliant - it's the dullest month on the calendar, there are only three shows happening, and they all happen on the same weekend. The G-Mex one didn't seem to be terribly well promoted, in as much as people were talking about it a few weeks beforehand as if that was the first they'd heard of it. Still, early reports are promising, and this could grow into the winter high spot on the custom calendar.

Talking of winter high points, the plans for the NSCC AGM have been announced. The new venue is the Red Lion in Bispham, a place we've previously been told not to return to after a spectacular chunder fountain down the stairs. I can't remember what year that was, but it has to be at least 10 years ago so hopefully they'll have cleaned the stairs by now. And, hopefully, nobody will feel compelled to have a 3D laugh at the carpet this year. Enthusiasm is high, and this could actually prove to be a problem in itself.
Firstly, there's a Premier Inn next door. Perfect. Cheap rooms with brilliant showers. The Manhattan was all well and good, but the rooms were a miracle of packaging that would make the Japanese piss their knickers in delight. Okay, to the letter, the rooms each had an en suite bathroom, but I always felt that being able to have a crap in the lavatory, clean your teeth in the basin and wash your hair in the shower, simultaneously, meant that the room was a bit small. To do all these things without having to get out of the bed means that the room is so tiny that a bloody Hobbit would have said, "Are they taking the piss or what?" However, as the Premier Inn fills up, the price of the rooms is going up. Tight bastards!
Secondly, the function room isn't massive, and less than a week after the date and venue have been announced, the number of people who have said they're coming and/or booked into the hotel means we may be looking at over-capacity issues...
We'll be having a good sit-down dinner at the AGM, which should be a revelation. We'll have to count the cutlery in and out of the room, you know what some of these Yorkshire folk are like...
Happy new year!
Eugene.